This is because Friday is the day when a giant, mutant lizard will rise up out of the ocean and stomp the bejeezus out of us.
When this poster was released about a week ago, I first saw it as an ad on a website while sitting in our little apartment, and let me tell you, I sprung-up and yelled, "Honey, RUN!" Because according to the graphic, Godzilla is going to take about three more steps and then squoosh our entire block.
The tall pointy building seen in the skyline next to Godzilla is The Transamerica Pyramid. It's not only the tallest building in San Francisco but it's just a few blocks away. Here's a photo I took of it from my window..
The blonde lady shown in the picture is on a sign outside our window because we live over a strip-club here in North Beach. There are actually three of them on this corner, one across the street and two more a few blocks down. So yes, on Friday Godzilla is going to squoosh strippers too. That means you can expect Pat Robertson to hit the airwaves on Saturday to claim that God sent Godzilla. He even has "God" in his name, so it must be true!
Godzilla's direction of travel shown in the movie poster means that us and all those strippers, the doormen and the guy who runs the liquor store between the strip-clubs will be reduced to bio-matter between his toes in about ten seconds, assuming we don't get blasted first by his fire-breath. In which case I guess we'd be ashen bio-matter.
So yeah, it was nice knowing you all. If I owe anyone money, come around on Thursday and I'll settle all my old scores, but after that you might want to get the hell out of San Francisco.
Now that I think of it, it might be a good time for us to take a vacation.