I'm going to present you with a similar year in review, but not very similar because..
1. I'm not Dave Barry
..okay, that's the only reason.
I have pictures I just sort of haphazardly threw on here to recap my 2014 experience, so I hope you like them despite the fact that they're not even in chronological order -- most of them just happened to be taken by me sometime in 2014. I could have done a slide show, but it's more fun to watch your frustration as all these pictures try to load at once.
Yes, I can see you right now through that little camera lens above your screen. I admit it. I bought software from a shady looking guy on a street corner and it really works. Who would have thought Uncle Hank would be so into Victoria's Secret.. but you sure rock that lilac negligée, sir! *cough*
Here are the pictures, in no particular order -- some words will come along too, if that's alright:
Dorian's mom, who happens to be my mother-in-law, visited in
October. Her name is Phyllis. HI PHYLLIS, HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The lady next to Phyllis is HER DAUGHTER and MY WIFE of
almost 25 years, Dorian. People often ask if Dorian likes
purple and I ask them in turn if they're Helen Keller.
Dorian even has A PURPLE BLOG! It kicks ass!
My friend DOUG helped me make a really weird selfie.
The Bank Of America Headquarters,
which is now The Microsoft Tower,
gets eaten by fog one morning.
Streetcars hurtle along through Fisherman's Wharf at
a break-neck 8 mph. It's insane!
A dear, beloved man left us in 2014. We will miss you, Don.
Dorian paid tribute to him in one of the most beautiful posts
she ever wrote. I am proud to say that he counted me as a friend.
Don, please give our love to grandma.. *SALUTE*
This is a few years earlier than 2014, since
grandma Peg left before Don,
but I wanted you to meet
them together. See those smiles?
They were ALWAYS like that!
Made us all wonder what they
were up to. Turns out..
THEY WERE JUST
A giant UFO tried to land on the top of the
Transamerica Pyramid one day, and I just
happened to be there to snap this pic.
"Ufologists" say it's "the sun,"
and that I should be
Haters gonna hate.
I went on a date with LADY GAGA! ..while I
was at work, down the street from the newly
opened Madam Tussaud's Wax Museum.
I'm not sure I spelled that correctly.
GAGA doesn't care.
San Francisco City Hall got all spiffed up for something.
I think this was in June for PRIDE, but it could have
just been because they saw me walking by.
They REALLY like me.
Speaking of PRIDE, this was the parade on Market Street on
the last Saturday in June. THERE WERE GAY PEOPLE
EVERYWHERE, so I tried not to look too straight.
I apparently messed it up because not one guy
hit on me. Neither did any girls.
My MOJO was a NOJO that day.
I was a tour guide through most of 2014 and
some people thought I was so good they
would give ME souvenirs after a tour.
One particular fellow happened to be a Philly Cop.
My tours included a trip over to Treasure
Island in the middle of San Francisco Bay.
I got some pretty cool sunset shots during
these, and they were so legendary they
are still talked about by twos of five people.
A bus selfie. It was really right next to me. It's a very,
very tiny bus, despite the words in yellow letters on
the side of it.
The ultimate selfie! There was no one around on this trip
to Treasure Island so I had to set my DROID CAM for
4 seconds and then toss it onto a pillow 15 feet away
with the hope that it would somehow just happen
to get a shot of me as it tumbled. This was attempt
number 23, 496. I'd been there for three days.
A unique perspective of The Transamerica Building
about a week or so before Godzilla came along in
May and didn't destroy it.
Speaking of Godzilla, he was in my neighborhood in May and I was
able to snap this pic. Good thing I'm a fast runner! Forget the damage
to the buildings, we're still shoveling lizard crap into huge craters.
I was starting to get all fancy with my shots from
Treasure Island. That's the Golden Gate Bridge
way in the distance, being all orange and tall.
Downtown in Union Square one busy day, a tour guide with
another company happened to be standing next to my
bus when I stepped off for a minute. "Soda Pop Jones"
lived only two buildings away from us in
North Beach with his girlfriend Michelle, but
both have since packed up and moved on.
We wish them well.
Encountered "Soda Pop" and Michelle one fine day in
Union Square while I was heading for a walking tour
but they were digging their day off.
Thanks for taking the photo, Douglas B. Davis!
The view in North Beach from our window on a typical weekend.
HAPPY 2015, GUY WHO GOT ARRESTED IN 2014!
A friend named Joanne, who happened to be a bus driver
in 2014 but is now on to beggar and bitter things.
HAPPY 2015, JOANNE!
Another friend. HNY, J. *sigh*
Lawrence is one of the best tour drivers EVER,
and one of the people I will miss very much.
HAPPY NEW YEAR, LAWRENCE AND LAURA!
She's behind me, isn't she??
What would Union Square in San Francisco be without a protest?
I gave great tours! NO, REALLY!
Tour guests admire the skyline of the city from
Treasure Island. It was on a "night tour," but
smack dab in the middle of July at about 7:00pm.
Dorian Captained a ferry on San Francisco Bay for like 30
minutes one day as we took a trip over to Sausalito.
This fellow was panhandling at the Sausalito Ferry
Terminal. Hopefully he bought some soap and
The Unknown Sailor stands vigil in Marin County at the North
Vista of The Golden Gate Bridge in remembrance of all
who've been lost at sea through the ages. He is cast in
bronze and has a bronze seabag full of belongings
beside him, leaving one to ponder how painful
bronze underwear must be.
A common sight when I was working as a guide, because we'd
go across The Golden Gate Bridge several times a day.
Another common sight when I was working
as a guide, because Doug.
..which brings me to one of my favorite sights
EVER. Her. *kiss*
Hanging out one fine day with Emperor Norton, aka
Joseph Amster. HAPPY NEW YEAR, JOSEPH!
I will miss the trips to Treasure Island, and I will miss giving
these tours, but I won't miss the company named on the side of the bus.
Onward and UPWARD to bigger and MUCH BETTER
THINGS IN 2015. YIPPEEEE!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR, INTERNET FAMILY! HAVE A WONDERFUL CELEBRATION AND I WILL SEE YOU ALL AGAIN IN 2015 :-)